It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
