Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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