I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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