hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
