You just made me feel so damn special
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
