Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
