I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
