And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
