sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i believe in u and ur pee
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
