Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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