Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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