I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
