'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
