the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize