i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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