i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
