Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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