ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
