I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
