i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
