It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
