used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
