you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
