I am puke
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
