Me. At least after what I've been through.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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