im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
