Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
