I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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