I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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