It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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