I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
