all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
