He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
