I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
