I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
