Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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