Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
