I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
