You can't special order awesome
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
