My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
