She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dick very happy bro
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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