forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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