He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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