just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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