I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
