next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
