doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
