I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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