My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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