Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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